Forever Faith: A Biker Romance Read online

  What the heck? I have to at least know if they were alone in there. Liam never gets enough sex. He is always hard and ready and wanting. Jesus. I am such a fool. They go in different directions and Liam makes a bee line for the table where I am sitting. I can’t look at his face. I get up with my coffee and busy myself with the dirty plate, taking it into the kitchen. Cool and casual. I feel Liam staring at me but neither one of us want to have it out again in front of everybody.

  Just as I feared, the kitchen is deserted when I enter. I take my dish to the sink and feel sick to my stomach. It feels like someone punched me. I can’t get a breath. I end up with my back bracing the wall. Just breathe.

  What a crock! It will be just the two of us at the house. Yeah right! I want to be angry and rage but all I feel is pain. Faith, you are so stupid.

  I am glad it’s Gypsy’s mom and not Gypsy that enters the kitchen. I still can’t move away from the wall and stand on my own. She comes right to me. She is the better friend to understand and talk to about this. Gypsy and Megan take the teenage, high school way to deal with it.

  “I know. I saw,” she says with a pat on my arm as she comes in.

  “God. Why? If they are so important to each other why don’t they just get together? Why did he drag me into it?”

  “No. I know you mean the world to Liam, he has never been like this with anyone. I have known him for years. You are the first. He loves you. I am sure of it.”

  “Please. Don’t say what you think I want to hear. I am over it all. It is just too much work.”

  “Faith, come back out here and sit with me while I eat. I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear what you just said,” Liam says from the doorway and we both jump.

  “You go ahead. I really need to go to the bathroom. I will just run to our room a minute.” Cool and casual.

  He gives his little nod of approval and leaves us.

  “Faith,” she begins and I cut her off.

  “No! Please just don’t say a word. Please,” I beg, and she nods also.

  I hide out in the room until Liam hunts me down. We go home soon, so I just want to make it until we getaway from here.

  “You stupid girl. Do you think I would touch her? You and I are together. Don’t start some shit over this. Have a little confidence in yourself and quit acting like we are in high school.” Liam growls.

  “I’m perfectly fine, Liam. You must be feeling guilty about something, because I really have no clue what you are talking about.” Bastard.

  “I heard you bitching about me. You are over it. It’s too much work. What was that shit?”

  “Nothing to do with you Liam. Get over yourself.”

  Now he is pissed. Full on blazing, fuming, pissed off. Oh goody. Bastard.“I know you’re lying, but I am gonna leave it for now. Behave yourself. We will talk about it when we getback to the house.” And he storms out of the room without me.

  Cool and casual, cool and casual, I repeat in my head as I reenter the dining area with everyone else.

  Music is loud like it’s ten or eleven at night. Must be a party. Oh, goody. Lots of beer and people going in and out. I am happy to have Megan and Gypsy with me to talk and laugh. I can’t remember a thing that was said. I have a buzzing in my ear. Liam screwed Stacy literally under my nose. I look her way and she is the life of the party, standing off with a couple of the guys. Time drags and I just want out of here. There is a lot of bike talk and as usual, Liam only grunts or hums every now and then. He never says much. By evening, it is slowly breaking up with a few couples leaving. Liam jerks his head to me like we are ready to leave so I go to the room to get our things. I hear Stacy say loudly, “Liam, did you air up that tire? I told you it was going flat yesterday.”

  I freeze with my hand on the doorknob. Of course I hear no answer from Liam. I’m sure it was only a nod or a grunt, knowing him.

  So yesterday. She was with Liam yesterday. The mysterious club business. He came in at four in the morning and took a shower first thing. God. I hate her. But I hate him more. And all of my quiet, obedient existence up until a few months ago, I never felt anything so strongly. I love him so hard and now I hate him so much. Emotions that are brand new to me. Overwhelming me.

  All packed and ready to go, I open the door just as Liam is coming in to fetch me. It is awkward, but I keep silent. I am sure my hatred is clear to him and I hope it burns him alive.

  “Baby. Let’s go home. I’m really sorry about all of this. I can fix it. I can fix you. I can fix us. Let’s just go.” He’s humble and pleading. How much beer has he drank?

  For the very first time in my life, I say, “Fuck you.”

  “Baby girl, don’t be mad, I—” He is cut off by Stacy, who is lurking in the shadows, listening.

  “My Liam. I never thought I would see the day that you become a bottom. You little bitch. Grow some balls. Topped by a teeny bopper! Now I’ve seen it all,” Stacy says and walks away with a cackle, shaking her head.

  Liam purses his lips and breathes heavily through his nose watching her go before finally turning his eyes on me.

  “So can we go now or what?” I refuse to show any sign that she affects me.

  Liam grabs the little saddlebag things out of my hand and marches us out. Gypsy tries to say goodbye and hug me but Liam growls and scares her. “You’ll see her tomorrow, goddammit.”

  So, completely out of character, I yell “bye” and wave and smile to everyone as we go to the bike.

  He kicks it on and we fly all of the way home. I just place my hands on his sides instead of wrapping my arms around him like usual. We are riding so fast that I am a little terrified. I fight the temptation to hold on tightly and press myself into his back. I keep my eyes squeezed shut and pray.

  Once we are home, I go in the house and to my room without even turning on a light. Liam is following and slows down enough to hit a couple of light switches as he does. The air is crackling with electricity from the excitement. This is going to be big.

  “You aren’t staying in here. You sleep with me from now on.”

  “Liam, I don’t want to do this with you. Just let me be for a few days.”

  “No. You don’t get vacation days off away from me because you are upset about something stupid. You wanted this. Now you have it.”

  “I don’t want it anymore,” I say quietly, and he looks like I slapped him.

  ‘‘Too fucking bad. You’re not getting out of it now. You should have never let me have you, because I will never let you go.” He roars and starts grabbing my things up everywhere. He takes an armful and throws it all in his room and comes back down the hall towards me. The next few minutes are filled with crazed violence as Liam pulls my drawers completely out of the dresser and empties my things. When everything I own is now in his room, he returns and I am standing in the exact spot. I can only stare. There are no words.

  “I should fucking make you crawl on your hands and knees to my bed,” he says as he pulls me close to his body by my upper arms. His hands are squeezing so tightly, I know I will show bruises tomorrow.

  I say nothing.

  “You will never top me. You will do what I say. What I want,” he says and gives me a little shake just to drive home the point.

  “That is the problem right there, Liam! “ I almost scream.“I have no idea what you are talking about! What Stacy said about you being a bottom and top and all that. I am clueless to most of the stuff that goes on around here. I see stacks and stacks of cash and you wearing a gun all the time and staying out all night. Just, all of it! I am in so far over my head. I just want out. It is all too much for me. I don’t care that you keep sleeping with Stacy! Just let me go! Let me out!”

  I am trying to calm my breathing and I feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. He wraps his arms around me and holds me, shushing me like I am a child the having a temper tantrum. He bends down and scoops me up in his arms, carrying me down the hall to his room. He places me on the bed and I can only think he wan
ts to get in one last screw before sending me on my way. He goes into the bathroom, leaving me there, on his bed, feeling tired and numb. Maybe I am in shock or something.

  Liam stares at me, looking so sad and lost for words. I know this is goodbye for us. He begins washing my face with a warm wet washcloth. I realize what an ugly snotty mess I must be. God. Gross. I don’t blame him for preferring Stacy. He finishes the job with a kiss on my forehead.

  “It has been a lot for you. The sex, the club, all of it has been too much. I didn’t think. You will be ok now because you are a strong girl. You belong to me, and I will never let you go Faith. You know that. I did not sleep with that cunt, Stacy. I am tired of hearing about her. She loves getting at you. It is a stupid game to her. She followed me into the kitchen and tried to delay me in there with talking some bullshit that had nothing to do with sex. I can and will ban her from the club. I didn’t ban her before because she is Lydia’s sister. I don’t want her hanging around making you uncomfortable. You are the old lady of the fucking President of the club. You are the queen. My queen. I want only you.”

  “Liam, I heard her say she was with you Sunday when you were gone all day and night.”

  “No. She wanted it to sound that way. We saw her at the fucking gas station convenience store deal at like, three in the morning. She started some flat tire bullshit story, I ignored it and got on my bike and left. You can ask any of the guys. That is the truth.”

  “What about the top and bottom thing?”

  Liam smiles kind of shyly and shaking his head he says, “I don’t want to go into it too deep right now, but it is basically a sex thing. Stacy has been in the life. Since way before I knew her. She plays both roles. She was always only ever a bottom for me and I never messed with the sex club shit she was involved in.”

  I am clearly bewildered. That explained nothing to me.

  Liam sighs heavy. “Ok, I like to dominate and boss you around during sex; I am clearly a top. There are sex clubs and different groups that let people get together to have sex. All kinds of sex. Stacy is involved in that life. Sometimes she beats the shit out of some guy with a whip or whatever, and sometimes she lets a guy tie her up and spank her or some shit. She is a dominant sometimes and she is a submissive sometimes. She is a top and a bottom. She is a dirty whore.”

  I feel sick. I think back to a lot of remarks I heard, and it adds up now. Liam just watches the emotions go across my face as my mind registers all of this. I feel somehow better about Stacy now, but I feel overwhelmed and confused by everything still.

  “God, Baby. I have brought a sweet, beautiful, innocent girl into all this darkness. I’m so sorry.”

  “What does the club do to make money?” I ask quietly.

  “I can’t tell you. Nothing legal and legitimate, though, that’s for sure. It will never come near you or hurt you. I promise you. You don’t want to know about all that shit. You are better off.”

  I feel like that is all I am getting. I have to accept what he says and make up my mind that I will trust him. I am numb. I need time. I look around the room and see the mess Liam has made throwing all of my things in here. I want to stay. I feel like I have to stay. Only now, things are different. Ruined somehow. And after only one weekend together. I feel sad. This was not how it went in my dream. I don’t look at him directly.

  I am staying with him, but I am not happy about it. I sit there for a long time just looking at my hands folded in my lap. Resigned. Liam finally takes a hold of me and says again very quietly, “So sorry, Baby.”

  He begins to kiss me seriously and I am torn. A part of me wants this to blind me to what is really going on and another part of me thinks we should hold off on the intimacy for a while to keep clear heads. I guess Liam can sense my indecisiveness as he pulls away from me.

  “Here’s what it is, bottom line. You want to be with me or you don’t. The rest of that shit is just noise. I will make it all work. You just have to be in this with me 100%.”

  “Yes. Ok. I’m in,” I say, but I don’t feel those words deep inside. I don’t like this. I know I have to accept all of the bad if I want a life with Liam and I do. Thinking of going on through a life without him crushes me.

  I have to stay.

  Instead of pressing more kisses, and trying to make love, Liam walks out of the room. I get off the bed and slowly begin picking up my things and opening empty drawers to fold my things and put them away. I work for less than a half hour and everything is perfect. I still don’t have a massive amount of belongings, even though it is more than I have had my entire life. With still no sign of Liam, I go take my shower and get ready for bed.

  I crawl under the covers and leave one small lamp on. Before I fall asleep, I hear him in the shower. I now stare up at a different ceiling fan and wait. I wonder where he has been. I didn’t hear any doors so I am sure he was inside the house this entire time but doing what, I have no clue. I heard no TV or noises. I have no experience around a moody person. Liam’s temper is wild. The way he moved me into this room scares me that he may show the same violence towards me someday. I remember fighting with him over Russell along time ago, and he said he had killed people before. This is not what I wanted. In the Family, we were emotionless zombies taught to hide feelings. This is the total opposite side of that coin. Liam puts every extreme feeling he has out for the entire universe to hear and feel.

  “You picked the right side of the bed. Smart girl.” He crawls in beside me and gathers me in his arms. I put my hands on his shoulders. He smells soapy and clean and all minty toothpaste. It reminds me of the last few nights and getting lost in his lovemaking. I am ready to go. I need to get lost.

  “I have always slept on this side of the bed. I have never slept with another woman here in this bed. You are the only one.” He places soft non sexual kisses on my face. I think he wants to sleep tonight with no lovemaking. I sigh in my disappointment. I am a ho.

  “You have your first class tomorrow night and we leave for Sturgis Wednesday. Do you have what you need?” he asks.

  “Yes. I’m fine, Liam. The girls are picking me up for school. I will get our things packed for the trip tomorrow.”

  “I want you to go straight to school and back. Jury says Gypsy has been out all night and acting really shady. I don’t want her dragging you into her drama.”

  “Ok.”

  “All right then. Just be sure you always let me know if you need anything at all. Anything. It’s yours. Ok?”

  “Ok. I need something.”

  “What, Baby?”

  “I need you. Now. Tonight. Just make me feel the way you do.” I have tears again, which come out of nowhere, as I ask this.

  Liam sucks in a breath and doesn’t have to be asked twice; he is on me and all over me. Just the way I like it.

  “I wanted to give you a break. I wanted you to come back on your own. But I see now you need to give yourself to me. Let me fuck the doubt out of you. Let me take back what’s mine.”

  He doesn’t let up until almost morning again. I am exhausted. I am sore and bruised. I am totally in love. We doze off at the beginning of daylight and when I do wake up, it is late morning, almost noon. I never do this. I was raised that it was sinful to lay in bed and be lazy.

  I dress in my regular clothes again, but I feel cool and comfy in a sleeveless tee and shorts. I am so tired of all this hair. I put it up in a high ponytail, but it is still too much and too hot. I just stepped out of the shower ten minutes ago and I am already hot. I know by the delicious smells that Maria is here and I can’t wait to see her. She must realize by now that I am sleeping in Liam’s bed.

  “Good morning, Maria.”

  “Hola, mi hermosa hija.” I am in her arms immediately. I feel a lump in my throat but I don’t cry. I hold the hug too long and I know it is awkward for Maria.

  “I am starving! Let me eat!” I laugh, and she stops me from making some cereal or a sandwich or something to sit me at the table and proceeds to
bring me a huge meal. I am so spoiled. I tell her she shouldn’t do all of this, and she says she has orders from Mr. Liam and besides, she likes doing it. I ask her about her family and we chat while I eat like a pig. Just when I am finished, I hear a my cellphone rings and I go hunt it down. I am not attached to it like most people are because I have only gotten a few calls since Liam got it for me.

  “Hello.”

  “Hi Baby. How are you feeling?”

  I feel a thrill. Liam has actually called me.“I’m fine. Where are you?”

  “Working. I am coming home early, though. I want to do something with you.”

  Oh my. My dirty mind goes right to sex. I am silent on the phone, lost in my dirty thoughts.