Forever Faith: A Biker Romance Read online

  “Faith. Good morning.”

  “Liam—Sir,” she says coldly, with a nod.

  Little does she know, I am a sick, twisted motherfucker and her saying “Sir” goes straight to my dick. I like it. How does she do this to me?

  “You have to be careful who sees you around here. It will get back to your old man and I don’t need to deal with that shit.” I try to scold her so she takes it seriously. I make sure there is no warmth in my voice or my eyes.

  Taking a deep breath, she nods her agreement and tries to be as cold as I am.

  “Okay, so we understand each other?” I ask.

  “I understand you perfectly, Liam, sir. Yes, sir.”

  Fuck me. She said it again. I have to get away from her—and stay away from her. I leave, nodding at the girls who cook and run the kitchen for the café. That is probably the first time they have ever heard my voice.

  Fuck her. Let her hang herself. I am keeping my distance.

  Over the next few weeks, I avoid Faith completely. I go to the room only when I see she is busy. I never sleep or shower there. She has my room all to herself. She has a lot of friends here now, and gets along well with everyone. I only see her in passing. She is always sitting and peeling potatoes, making pies or something, or reading books, or sitting on the porch in the evenings, laughing with the girls. Everyone loves her. The old ladies, the whores, and most of all, the other Horsemen. Sometimes I ignore her completely and sometimes I give her a nod. She seems like she couldn’t care less. She is social and friendly with everyone but turns in by herself at night when the partying gets going. She’s a good girl.

  No noise from her family or Malone so maybe that threat is gone. I decide against moving her into my house. Too intimate. No way to avoid her if we are living out there under the same roof. We will keep things going like they are for now. I want her. I finally admit it to myself. I won’t let that happen. It would be bad for both of us. I tell myself I am an outlaw and should just take what I want but this girl gives me a conscience. I guess that’s why it is tearing me up. I never remember ever wanting a woman this bad before. I try to distract myself with drinking, drugs, and other easy uncomplicated pussy, but I wake up every morning wanting her more.

  I have begun to think we will just go along like this forever. At least until she goes off to school or something. The sooner she is gone the better for us both.

  Faith

  For weeks now Liam has treated me like a leper. He never speaks to me and never comes to our room. The girls tell me he is living in his house. I guess he decided not to take me with him. I don’t know what I have done to make him dislike me so much. Other guys talk and even flirt with me but I am only interested in Liam and it is clear everyone around here knows it but no one ever speaks of it. Gypsy and her mom have told me a lot of stories by now and it didn’t scare me off. In fact, it excited me.

  I guess Liam likes rough sex, and he is very controlling. He is what they call a dominant. They told me in great detail some of the things he has done to women, and it only makes me hotter. Maybe that is why he stays away. Maybe he thinks I can’t handle what he likes. It’s all too much for me. I think of it all the time. I picture those things in my mind, only he is doing them all to me. I feel anxious and want him so bad. I have trouble falling asleep at night, tormenting myself with those images. It doesn’t help that almost every book the ladies gave me to read are romance and erotica. It is consuming me. I am a voracious reader but never anything like this before and wow, I had no idea. I love reading even more than ever now.

  Tonight is a big dinner like they had when I first came here. I was afraid I was going to be excluded since my status has changed with Liam, but the old ladies all made a point of telling me to come tonight.

  Everyone is excited and I help with the food all afternoon. Around five, I go to the room to shower and make sure I look my best. No sign of Liam, so by seven, I go to the dining room and see everyone standing around, laughing and drinking. Gypsy and Megan run up to me, and I am grateful I am not alone. They are both holding beers and offer to get me one, but I decline. A loud whistle comes from Gypsy’s dad, and he yells, “Let’s eat!” Everyone starts taking their place at the table, and I am not sure if I can still sit by Liam or if that is a no-no now. I would just die if I sat there and Stacy or some other woman came along and made me get up and move.

  Out of nowhere, Liam comes up behind me and takes my arm, walking me to the table where I sit in my usual spot. I look at him to convey thanks as he is seated and he says, “Sorry about that.”

  It is like he knows I am feeling awkward and uncomfortable now. I guess I just assumed too much in the beginning and acted like the queen. My arm still tingles from his hold. I feel warm all over, the way only he can make me feel. He gives me a wink as he passes a dish laden with food to me.

  I am ecstatic! All my tension and fears are gone. I am back in his sun again. Until the dark cloud rolls in. Stacy stands at Liam’s shoulder awkwardly, and he continues eating and ignoring her. I won’t look at her, because I can feel her hate from here. Liam sat me here; I am not getting up for her.

  Finally one of the guys they call Lucky gets up from his seat next to Liam and lets her sit. Damn! So now we are across the table, facing each other. Liam is at the head with Stacy and me on each side. I just lost my appetite. I know this is going to be bad.

  “So, little Fay, I thought you were long gone. We haven’t seen much of you, have we, Liam?” Stacy sneers.

  Okay. Let me check the score. She gets a point for calling me the wrong name. She gets a point for making herself and Liam a couple by saying we haven’t seen much of you. She gets a point for making it clear that Liam has been spending time with her while I am alone. And a bonus point for saying it all way too loudly so that everyone at the table is quiet and staring at me.

  I have no comeback. I stare down at my plate as I stir my food around a little bit. Telling myself do not cry. Do not blush. Just get through the dinner. These are bikers. They won’t respect me if I am a crybaby. I am at a loss.

  Liam speaks up. “Her name is Faith, and if you are going to start some shit, you can leave. Who invited you, anyway?”

  And I love him more. He is my hero. Everyone gets busy eating and carrying on. No one wants to get dragged into who invited Stacy. I should feel bad for her, but I don’t. All my gentle religious upbringing has completely escaped me.

  Dinner goes on for over an hour, as always, and I get up to help clear the table. I feel Liam watching me, but I also see Stacy rubbing her hand up and down his forearm, which is resting on the table. Her long, red nails against his tanned, tattooed skin. I ate very little, but still feel I am going to be sick. I stay in the kitchen to avoid going back around the table to clear, where I see the Stacy and Liam show. I want to hide until I can escape to my room. I have been high and low so many times in the last hour. I just want to sleep. Gypsy and Megan come back to the kitchen to find me. They are never in here. Cooking and cleaning is not their thing.

  Gypsy’s mom instructs the three of us to take out the buckets of beers and waters for the guys. We do as she asks, each of us grabbing one with both hands. I go to the far end of the table to place mine away from Liam. A couple of the guys take my heavy load from me. I walk quickly to return to the kitchen when Liam stands in my path to catch my arm. I gasp in surprise.

  “Are you okay, little darlin’?” he asks, looking very seriously at me.

  I smell him and feel that warm spicy feeling only he gives me all over but I fear I will cry or grab him or something. I am a mess.

  “I’m fine.” I say with a nod, and look down so I can get a hold of myself.

  “You ate almost nothing. I thought you loved our food.”

  “I just, um… I sort of lost my appetite.”

  He lets go of me like I burned his touch, and I escape to the kitchen to hide.

  I am more confused than ever. That is the most Liam has spoken to me in weeks. This s
hould have been the greatest night ever because of that, but for some reason, I am miserable. I am in pain.

  We spend less than an hour making the kitchen sparkle. Everything is dried and put away. All of the old ladies and girlfriends are excited to go into the main room to sit and cuddle with their men, while I am heading to my room alone to read books about what I want to be doing.

  I can’t stop myself from looking for Liam on my way through and what I see tips me over the edge. He is in the living area drinking a beer, one foot propped up on a small table, and Stacy is on his lap. She is wound around him like a snake.

  I walk as fast as I can to my room, and I hear Megan and Gypsy calling my name, but I can’t stay and face the truth. So no more speculating on what is or isn’t happening. They are a couple. I am a little kid to Liam. I am nothing. I am a fool. I just want to leave and not face anyone here again. The ladies probably pity me. I want to leave. I have to go.

  Just then the door flies open. Liam walks in. I knew it was him, because I locked it to keep Megan and Gypsy out, so it had to be Liam with his key. I see him through my teary, blurry eyes, but I look away and face the wall.

  I feel him standing so close behind me that he is touching me. I try to control my sniffing and get control of my tears so I don’t look even dumber to him. I feel angry, not sad.

  His hands go to my shoulders. “What’s wrong, Baby? What happened?”

  I can’t speak so I just shake my head.

  He turns me around and into his arms. His hand goes to my tear stained face and he wipes at the tears with his large thumb.“Oh God. Don’t do this. Don’t be like this. I can’t take it, Baby. What is it?”

  I try to look down, but he tilts my face up with his finger under my chin.

  “Tell me.”

  “I want to leave here. Maybe go home. I can’t stay here anymore.”I really don’t know why I said that but it was the first thing I could say. It’s how I feel right now.

  “No!” he roars and I feel the anger coming off him in great waves. “Who said something to you? Who did something to hurt you?” He is holding my shoulders a little too hard.“Tell me now!”

  I am completely frightened by his outbursts. I have never heard this loud angry Liam before. I feel cornered.

  “You did!” I yell back. “You hurt me!”

  He is stunned and calmer, while I am so angry. Now I will let him have it all. I don’t care if I am a joke and he gets a big laugh at my expense with Stacy.

  “Why did you bring me here and keep me only to decide you don’t want me? Why did you pay so much attention to me and treat me like I was special? Why buy me clothes? Why are you with Stacy? Why don’t you want me? What is wrong with me? Am I so ugly and plain? Am I so young and stupid? Why don’t you want me?”

  He has completely let go of my shoulders now, and he’s stepped back from me. He looks awestruck.

  Meanwhile, my tears are flowing freely and I can’t stop them. I am brave enough to look him in the eye now and I just say, “Why?” softly.

  He takes a minute and as I am about to turn away and get my face cleaned up, he grabs me hard and says, “You think I don’t want you? I want you, all right. I want you so fucking bad I think it will kill me some nights. Believe me, I want you.”

  We are touching lip to lip and I see he is still resisting it for some reason when he says one more time, “I want you, Faith.” And he lowers his mouth to mine completely. His kiss is firm, but not painful or threatening. I open my mouth to his tongue and he tastes like heaven to me. His hands try to wipe my face dry while our mouths are fused deeply. I reach up to hold him to me and he scoops me up in his arms and lays me on the bed. We lay kissing for a long time, until my pain is gone, as well as the rest of the world. It is just us. I knew this was my life since I was a girl and first laid eyes on him. He is my everything.

  My hands run over his chest under his tee shirt. His hands roam my body as well. I am wearing one of the little sun dresses so he cannot reach my bare skin without lifting the entire dress up. He stops kissing me to look into my eyes and make certain I am ok with him removing my dress. My moan is all the answer he needs. The dress comes off and is tossed aside and the kissing resumes. I feel like I am floating up off the bed. Liam stops to rear back up off of me and look at my bare breasts. Without the dress now I am in nothing but soft pink panties. I feel anything but shy. I feel like the women in the books I read. Brave. Hungry for more. Hungry for Liam.

  “Baby, you are perfection. So beautiful. I want to fuck you so bad. I want to be the first one to fuck you. I want to be the only one to ever fuck you.” He goes back to making love to me with his tongue. His crude words don’t scare me. In fact, I love them.

  “Yes Liam. I want that, too. So much. I love you.”

  And he stops. He gets off of me and steps away from the bed.

  He is kind of shaking his head a little, like he needs to snap out of his trance.

  Oh no! He can’t stop.

  “Liam?” I reach for him, but he holds my hands to stop me.

  He bends and lifts my crumpled dress off the floor and holds it out to me. It looks so small in his big hands. Like a doll’s dress or something. I am frozen.

  “Get dressed, Faith. Put it on.” He looks over at the wall instead of at me.

  “Why? What did I do?”

  “Oh, Christ, Baby, you did nothing wrong,” he says, and I feel I have no choice but to dress myself. Even though he says I did nothing wrong, shame and embarrassment wash over me.

  I stand up so I feel less at a disadvantage. “Liam, the girls told me some stories about what you like in bed, and, you know, the things you do. It didn’t scare me. In fact, I think I would like it very much if you would do those things to me. If that is why you stopped, don’t worry. I want it. Believe me.”

  “Jesus, Faith. Don’t say shit like that. You don’t know what it does to me.”

  “Well what is it? What happened?”

  “I want you. Never doubt that. I have never wanted a young girl before, and I feel ashamed. What makes me any better than Malone if I take your innocence at my age? You are too pure for me. Too good for me, Baby. I couldn’t live with myself if I ruined your life. You just got out. Don’t waste it on someone like me.”

  “I’m not wasting it and I am not giving myself to ‘someone like you’. I am giving myself to you. I have loved you since that day in my house all those years ago. How can you not see that?”

  “No. Not now. You are too young. I am too old for you. This is not going to happen between us.”

  “Half of these guys in your club have an age difference as big as ours with their wives or whatever. Some of them, even more! What is the big deal? Megan and Gypsy both have had all kinds of crazy sex with more than one guy, and we’re the same age. What is the difference?”

  “Just no. It won’t be me. I won’t do that. You are better off with Malone. At least he was going to marry you.”

  Ouch. Bull’s eye. He has said the exact thing to get me to stop begging him to sleep with me. Clever. I march off to the bathroom and hope he is gone by time I come out.

  Liam

  Perfect, Liam. Kill her while you’re at it. I am pissed. I am horny as hell with a painfully hard dick and no one to blame but myself. I just can’t mess with her like that. I want to help her have a better life. I have to work this out with her. Not by avoiding her or sleeping with whores. I can make it work. She will fall in love with some nineteen-year-old and have the future she deserves. I just have to keep my hands off of her until then.

  “Hey, Baby. Are you okay?” I greet her when she comes out of the bathroom. No more tears. She has scrubbed her face and is cool as can be now.“I am going to make this work, honey. You just have to trust me. I want you, and you want me, but now is not the right time for us. Ok?”

  “What are you saying, Liam?”

  “I don’t know. I haven’t figured things out yet. Just be patient with me. I want to stay with you and
somehow not touch you yet. I hate what I said to you about Malone. I would lose my shit so bad if that happened. I would probably kill you both if he touched you. I just need time. You need to live a life. Let’s just slow down and see what happens down the road. Ok?” He finishes with a kiss to my forehead. Holding my shoulders, he waits for a response.

  “Ok. Let me make sure I have this straight. You are going to stay here with me again?”